I guess you already knew this.

I keep rewriting this blog.

I'm sorry I'm a drunk.

No, I'm not all that sorry.  Fuck you for judging me for it.

I cracked my first beer at 1:30 today, and am on my way to buy a bottle of scotch to mix with my bottle of Disaronno.

This is what I do.

I have my reasons.

I am just very tired of people giving me shit for how I drink.

"Dany, you drink too much." "Dany, your drunk texts are annoying." "Dany, I've never seen you sober." "Dany, I can't date you because you're always drunk."

I KNOW.

You think I don't know that I'm forever alone because I'm slowly killing myself with alcohol? Hell, that's half the reason why I was dumped by  my ex.  Do I wish that bothered me? Yes. But it doesn't. 

I'm sorry I'm a mess. I'm sorry that I don't care I'm a mess.  I'm sorry I'm drunk at 2:31 in the afternoon.  I'm sorry that I don't care that I'm drunk at 2:31 in the afternoon.

But hell.  If you can't accept that I'm a 23-year-old piece of shit right now, then maybe I'm better off without people.

That's an emo thing to say.  Is emo still a thing? Or did that die in 2007?  Gerard Way, Bert McCracken? Are you still a thing?

Either way.  Judging is easy.  Understanding is a lot more difficult.

Maybe you should hug me instead of pointing fingers.