I'm the confident girl with no confidence.

All right, so I pretty much bombed my 30-day challenge.  In my defense, I work 40 hours a week and sleep whatever hours remain. Blow me.

I'd like to say that I enjoy blogging. Sometimes I do.  However, I write words to be read, and I don't think anyone -actually- reads these posts, so it seems incredibly futile.  I 'unno. Maybe I'm just an asshole who likes to hear herself talk. Er, type?  I really only like to blog about myself.  I don't care about anything else in the world.  Seriously. Just watch how many times I use the word 'I' or refer to myself somehow.  It will fuck your mind to pieces.

And that's another thing about me; I LOVE TO SWEAR.  Honestly, I tried to stop once upon a time, but I can't get the anger out of my system.  There is nothing diffusing about saying, "Gosh bless it, Nancy!"  It just doesn't work.  The quick burst of anger that comes with screaming FUCK! when you're angry is so relaxing and fulfilling.

I've also recently decided that my GPS's name is Audrey.  She wasn't listening to me when I told her that I refused to turn right, so I screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! AUDREY! AUDREY!" a la Anchorman-style.  It seemed to fit, so now that bossy ho's name is Audrey.  I talk to Audrey a lot.  I wish she were better at small talk, though.  When I'm on a six-mile stretch of road and she isn't telling me where to go, I feel extremely lonely.

Right now, I'm extremely hungry.  I didn't have time for breakfast, had lunch, didn't take a meal at work, and didn't eat when I got home.  And I'll be a giant cock if I'm going to cook at this hour.

My cat is HORRIFIED of Frankenberry. And I use the word 'horrified' in the most severe sense possible.  I'm surprised she hasn't crapped her cat pants just from looking at him.  Though, if I were a tiny feline faced with a 6'6" man-beast, I'd probably hiss and hide behind the toilet, too.  To each his own; we all know the monsters can't reach behind the toilet.

^^This shit right here: this is what goes on in my head all day long. Isn't it irritating as fuck?  Often I wish that my brain could STFU for five minutes, but I don't really want that.  Silence scares me.

You know what else scares me?  Well, yes, that.  But another thing: blank paper.  I square to Bob. Blank paper freaks me the fuck out.  And when you work at an office supply store, it's EVERYWHERE.  I'm gonna have PTSD if I ever leave Staples.

Pregnant women scare me a little. A lot.  I don't know what it is.  But you...you have a thing MOVING AROUND INSIDE your body. How in the balls do you live with that for nine months?!  I mean, it's INSIDE you, and it MOVES. *shudders*  I couldn't do it.  Every time I have to help a pregnant customer at work, I want to run away, screaming.

Jerry's final thought:

Thanks for showing me your kankles, but I don't want to sing about Jesus.

Day 2: This is a little overdue.

Technically, I'm posting this after midnight, so I've already failed my "every day for a month" thing. Suck on these little Chinese nuts.  I may expand upon this when I don't have a migraine.



'Amour'
Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier
Sie atmet dich sie sucht nach dir
Nistet auf gebrochenen Herzen
Geht auf Jagd bei Kuss und Kerzen
Saugt sich fest an deinen Lippen
Gräbt sich Gänge durch die Rippen
Lässt sich fallen weich wie Schnee
Erst wird es heiß dann kalt am Ende tut es weh
Amour Amour
Alle wollen nur dich zähmen
Amour Amour am Ende
gefangen zwischen deinen Zähnen
Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier
Sie beißt und kratzt und tritt nach mir
Hält mich mit tausend Armen fest
Zerrt mich in ihr Liebesnest
Frißt mich auf mit Haut und Haar
und würgt mich wieder aus nach Tag und Jahr
Läßt sich fallen weich wie Schnee
Erst wird es heiß dann kalt am Ende tut es weh
Amour Amour
Alle wollen nur dich zähmen
Amour Amour am Ende
gefangen zwischen deinen Zähnen
Die Liebe ist ein wildes Tier
In die Falle gehst du ihr
In die Augen starrt sie dir
Verzaubert wenn ihr Blick dich trifft
Bitte bitte gib mir Gift


Love is a wild animal
It breathes you it looks for you
It nests upon broken hearts
and goes hunting when there are kisses and candles
It sucks tightly on your lips
and digs tunnels through your ribs
It drops softly like snow
First it gets hot then cold in the end it hurts
Amour Amour
Everyone just wants to tame you
Amour Amour in the end
caught between your teeth
Love is a wild animal
It bites and scratches and kicks towards me
It holds me tightly with a thousand arms
and drags me into its love nest
It devours me completely
and retches me back out after many years
It drops softly like snow
First it gets hot then cold in the end it hurts
Amour Amour
Everyone just wants to tame you
Amour Amour in the end
caught between your teeth
Love is a wild animal
You fall into its trap
It stares into your eyes
Spellbound when its gaze hits you
Please please give me poison
Love is anything but tame.  Love is anything but predictable.  Love is anything but logical.  So why do we crave it so? Why do YOU want love?

Day 1: Hoppe hoppe Reiter

Keep in mind that I'm not planning this shit out before I write it.
I just sat down and started typing.
So here we go.
Check it out baby guuuuuurl.
You left me.
Oh no, we broke up.
And it's been a while since we last spoke, but....

>.>

Those are not my words.
For real this time.
+ + + + +


Mein Herz schlägt nicht mehr weiter


There is an ache in my bed. Both dull and sharp, the room is built around it.  This is a room I no longer occupy, for the light blackens my skin.  The ache is immense, and in its presence, no one speaks of anything but.  Leave, I ask the ache.  But it is resolved to stay, forever hurting and forever interfering.

Surely, Reason will solve everything.  Reason will come, armed with logic and soundness of mind, and he will oust this ache from my bed.  I wait for Reason.  For what seems like the greater part of my life, I wait.  All the while, Ache is present, tightening my chest and darkening my vision.  When Reason comes, he slips in like a hurricane.  We are only so prepared for him.

Time is irrelevant at this point.  Moot, impertinent, consuming.  That is what Time is.  And this is how it passes.  I have come to lie on the floor.  I will wait for Reason to prevail until my bones are dust and my breath is merely the wind.

I built that bitch a brick house. Bitches love brick houses.

I can honestly say that there is no one like me.
Whether or not this is a good thing remains to be determined.

I need to get back into writing.
Staples needs to chill the fuck ooouuuuut so I have some free time.
Don't get me wrong; I love all these hours.
However, if I could work shorter shifts and balance it all out over the week, I'd be pretty stoked.
Fuck if that happens, though. I already work six days a week.

Remember that next time you want to bitch at me for not hanging out with you.
I have bills to pay.
Unless you're going to start paying my rent and put gas in my tank, CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

People put me in an extremely bad mood.
Seriously.
Just thinking about the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis because people want to either think with their genitals or their emotions.
One in the mother fupping same.

Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screamin', "Yeah!"

Okay, those aren't my words.
Shhhhh.

But back to what I was here for in the first place!
Blogging.
Right.
That.
I'm going to do it more often.
A topic a day? Maybe.
Or how about a post a day.
Even a picture?
For a month.
I think I can handle that.
And if I can't....
Well, then I need to seriously rethink some shit.

RIGHT-O!
A post a day.
I'll do it.

Post number one will be tomorrow.
For today, I shall leave you with this: