I am a moral support machine.

Everyone has their fair share of troubles in life. I do not believe that a person would survive on this planet and remain sane if they did not have at least one person to confess their secrets to. Throughout my life, I have prided myself on being that person that everyone can run to. If no one else, they can talk to me, and I will listen. I cannot fix every problem, I cannot make everyone feel better in an instant, but I do care, and I do listen to every word.

Sometimes, though, I wish someone could be my moral support machine.

Don't get me wrong; I do have friends that I can talk to when I'm upset. I have people that know all the right words to say to cheer me up in that moment, but that feeling does not last. This is my own fault. I honestly cannot remember what it feels like to be happy anymore.

I know how incredibly dramatic that sounds. I realize that I am a whiner. But I am unhappy, and not in a light sense of the word. I literally do not remember what it feels like to want to wake up in the morning, or to look forward to something happening.

I want someone that will get me out of the house when I can' possibly look at its walls anymore. I want a friend that will give me five minutes to cry, and then slap me into shape and make me do something I love doing. I want a friend that will sing me to sleep when my thoughts are keeping me from it. I want a friend that will hang out and do absolutely nothing with me, and yet everything.

I don't need new friends. I just need for that one person to teach me how to keep that happiness when I am not with people who can distract me from my unhappiness. Someone who can teach me to love me.

Because I sure as hell don't know how to.